Metaphorcast 2
This is Scotty T storm with this week’s metaphorcast
Look up in the sky it’s a bird, it’s a plane no its rain all weekend long.
So in lieu of the showers, power outages and dark clouds
WMA-hem news is taking the weather…underground.
No I won’t be chilling out with Bill Ayers or Barack Obama
But reporting to you live from an undisclosed subway stations where you might even find Osama.
The L train into Brooklyn was so overcrowded this morning
I couldn’t tell if I was sweating or someone was sweating on me.
And If I weren’t wearing the latest in Hipster fashions-
unmatching socks,
no shirt and skinny jeans with the ass cut out
I would have probably lost all circulation and passed out.
At Lorimer, there’s currently cold front of indifference and an atmosphere of false power
Nonetheless most of the Bedford stop is in need of a shower.
If you’re waiting for the 3 at Wall Street the wind is really picking up
with a great deal more in store as evidenced by the large amount of stock broker toupees on the floor
At The 50th street stop the 2 Train is said to be a little wet
from a most pungent combination of
tears from a pack of teenagers unable to get tickets to see Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe shirtless in Equus
mixed with the smell of a local homeless man’s five year old piss.
(Y’know you really gotta watch out for that hobo urine!!)
At 59th the Columbus circle jerk has made platforms extremely sticky,
And attracted bigger mice than Minnie and Mickey.
Watch out for lightning in Time Square
As someone was recently seen with Don King’s hair.
While a purse snatching at Penn station has left a slight chill in the air.
Then again with hundreds of thunderous trains passing every hour
it sounds the same down here as it does it up there.
So as I cover my ears and head back downtown,
this is Scotty T Storm reporting the weather…underground.