Hold on tight everyone and turn off the
LIGHTS
CAMERA
ACTION Jackson.
It’s time I move on to explore some of my other passions
It looks as though there’s much more cold in store
So Scotty T Storm is heading indoors.
While The b-list supporting-star of Happy Gilmore and
well
some other things
will fashion fast his very own metaphorcast,
replete with Neo-Soul and Keanu-esque Speed.
Yes—I’m handing the weather over indeed-
To make way for SHOWTIME at the
APOLLO Creed.
In a special segment I’ve deemed Weathers on Weather.
So tune in tonight and some other nights as Carl Weathers returns from his permanent Hollywood vacation
to report for us live in some remote location just outside a Northern Antarctican ice-fishing basin.
Instead of the usual stew I’ll be coming at ya with two new segments
JEWS on food and Movie Review Haikus
So stay tuned as Scotty T storm puts away his umbrella, reingnites the fuse
then uninstalls his lighting rod for
WMA-HEM News.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:14 am.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:14 am. Add a comment
Scotty T-Storm Metaphorcast Special Election Edition
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:05 am.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:05 am. Add a comment
Welcome to Wma-<<cough cough>>hem news
This is Scotty T Storm…
I think I’m gonna be sick.
Listen folks I’m trying not to be clever, but I really am under the weather
my teeth are un-brushed and my hair is uncombed liked puffy,
so this week’s Metaphorcast might sound a little stuffy.
cuz
Ain’t nothing but an allergee thing baby…
Got me sneezing and wheezing like crazee
most antihistamines make me feel lazy?
<cough cough>>
Specialists agree a combination of acupuncture and Spanish fly might help curb symptoms
but they don’t exactly know why.
Dangerous grass and pollen levels have reached an all time high,
either way you should probably make an appointment today to see your local doctor…
DRE.
Fall is fully upon us
with a kaleidoscopic smorgasbord of fancy colors really piling up
The leaves are a cross between Michael Jackson’s skin tones and a painting by Jackson Pollock.
Model airplane enthusiasts and clumsy people around the world
should prepare for one of the worst GLUE seasons in reason history,
the sticky substance is in short supply
and not even Elmer’s knows where it went.
And unless your using an erector set
make sure you know how to properly use your rubber…
cement.
Dangerous winds have caused an upsurge in lost kites
While today was so cold there were six reported cases of Robert FrostBite.
So after apple picking I took the road less traveled by and it has made all the difference.
Except I feel kinda like crap
So I think I’m gonna go take a nap.
This is Scotty T Storm with this week’s Metaphorcast.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:02 am.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 11:02 am. Add a comment
This is Scotty T storm with this week’s metaphorcast
Look up in the sky it’s a bird, it’s a plane no its rain all weekend long.
So in lieu of the showers, power outages and dark clouds
WMA-hem news is taking the weather…underground.
No I won’t be chilling out with Bill Ayers or Barack Obama
But reporting to you live from an undisclosed subway stations where you might even find Osama.
The L train into Brooklyn was so overcrowded this morning
I couldn’t tell if I was sweating or someone was sweating on me.
And If I weren’t wearing the latest in Hipster fashions-
unmatching socks,
no shirt and skinny jeans with the ass cut out
I would have probably lost all circulation and passed out.
At Lorimer, there’s currently cold front of indifference and an atmosphere of false power
Nonetheless most of the Bedford stop is in need of a shower.
If you’re waiting for the 3 at Wall Street the wind is really picking up
with a great deal more in store as evidenced by the large amount of stock broker toupees on the floor
At The 50th street stop the 2 Train is said to be a little wet
from a most pungent combination of
tears from a pack of teenagers unable to get tickets to see Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe shirtless in Equus
mixed with the smell of a local homeless man’s five year old piss.
(Y’know you really gotta watch out for that hobo urine!!)
At 59th the Columbus circle jerk has made platforms extremely sticky,
And attracted bigger mice than Minnie and Mickey.
Watch out for lightning in Time Square
As someone was recently seen with Don King’s hair.
While a purse snatching at Penn station has left a slight chill in the air.
Then again with hundreds of thunderous trains passing every hour
it sounds the same down here as it does it up there.
So as I cover my ears and head back downtown,
this is Scotty T Storm reporting the weather…underground.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 10:47 am.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 10:47 am. Add a comment
Wat-up, wat up… and welcome to WMA–hem news…
A weekly poetry-infused podcast of the week’s news delivered entirely in spoken word.
This is Scotty T-storm coming atcha with this week’s Metaphor Cast.
Hurricane Norbert has caused more total damage than Eddie Murphy’s schlockfest
did to my psyche.
While Hurricane Ike is just one letter away from an endorsement deal with Nike.
Both make people run faster and thus much harder to catch…
With over 30 Billion dollars in destruction you do the math
In all seriousness my love and prayers to all Floridians, Cubans, and Texans and anyone else affected by its wrath.
In Brooklyn its currently in the mid to high sixties, but I feel more like its 1970.
With environmental issues on the rise, skyrocketing oil prices, and massive overspending on a war overseas more and more Americans are left with less and less cheese.
So with a depressingly low amount of money
we have to be careful we don’t fall back into the upper 20’s.
On a brighter note after weeks of rain the sun is finally coming out
with a feather boa, tight shirt and purple-rimmed-glasses
And was last seen shining over Clay Aiken and Lance Bass’ asses.
But over the weekend the temperature will be dropping (once again) as the DOW plummets and stock market crashes
<<TITS>>
This is Scotty T-storm with your Metaphorcast.
Podcast Link Available: HERE
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 10:37 am.
Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 10:37 am. Add a comment
