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5. Please No, No Homo

  • So, In Japanese I thank you, but not very much. No Domo
  • If the republican candidate wins the NY gubernatorial race, No Cuomo
  • I shouldn’t have to tell you three times, No no-no
  • What you did was a straight-up cop-out, No po-po
  • Damn your feet are hairy, No Frodo
  • I really prefer homemade ice-cream, No Froyo
  • Is the human race on the brink of extinction? No dodo
  • You wanna receive and I’ll play quarterback, No Romo
  • Stop clowning around, No bozo
  • A celibate Santa gets, No ho-ho
  • Where do you expect me to practice karate? No dojo
  • All my gadgets stopped working, No gogo
  • Your such a stick in the mud, No pogo
  • I’ve gone off-track, No flojo
  • Didn’t even see the ad, No promo
  • Instant replay with No slow-mo

    • Posted 2 weeks, 2 days ago at 3:10 pm.

    4. Our Gangster

    1 The only things I shoot are movies
    2 I slip on ice not roofies
    3 I throw punchlines not punches
    4 And if I was Minnie Mouse, I’d be fucking goofy.
    5 No sax or violins I teach flute
    6 I don’t just wear a bulletproof vest I wear a three-piece suit,
    7 Ironed and folded too-no creases.
    8 Only weight I push is helping heavy ladies cross the streetsss
    9 Toss the beat take more shit than what’s scraped off toilet seats.
    10 Bug out more than spoiled meats
    11 so broke all my bread’s got yeast
    12 I murder moments like a PoinDexter
    13 I don’t fight like Iron Mike I flea like a Chili Pepper
    14 too scared to lie cheat and rob.
    15 only blocks I run are Legos and Lincoln Logs.
    16 I don’t bop heads I make heads bob

    Posted 12 months ago at 5:54 pm.

    3. Stop Being An Emily Dickinson!

    Recorded this outside the capitol building in Madison, Wisconsin. I was recovering from a most debilitating stomach virus that rendered me nearly 10 pounds lighter and a bad haircut that rendered me 10 years younger.

    Posted 1 year, 1 month ago at 12:38 pm.

    2. Freestyle Rap Battle?

    Scott goes undercover as “Elephant Tight Wit” at a freestlye rap battle in Jersey City, NJ. For your own sake and mine stop listening by the three minute mark…Please.

    Posted 1 year, 1 month ago at 12:33 pm.

    1. Sloshed Stopwatch

    1. There’s a bottle of jack with a hacksaw
    2. slackjawed with a black eye n missing teeth
    3. weaving through the streets with a few treats
    4. tricking and cheating while pissing pete
    5. moss not Kate but like Locke Jack’s lost
    6. in space drunk as a skunk in tossed waste
    7. this out of control soldier’s off-base.
    8. slurred speech gets him no sex on the beach.
    9. just a slow blow job from some garden hosebeast
    10. which show’s he’s no joke when Jack mixes with coke
    11. he gets nose-bleeds.
    12. If the weasel pops, he’s gotta stop
    13. When jack gets wound up he can’t think outside his box
    14. outfoxed by a stopped sloshed stopwatch committing faceless crimes
    15. he’s an inebriated grandfather clock
    16. being chased by ‘wasted’ time

    Posted 1 year, 3 months ago at 8:12 am.